When we picture cheating, we likely picture sexy, stolen moments. Two people cuddled up in hotel rooms and having a breathtaking sex.
The usual story is that the cheater is sex starved, miserable, nagged or even in a hostile relationship back home and he’s basically forced to cheat or suffer a miserable life.
People who cheat are not always miserable in their relationships.
This one, is perhaps the most contrary to everything we think we know about cheating. Often, people cheat even when they are in a happy relationship. You can hear them say “I love my wife/husband”. Some go ahead to have romantic talks with their spouse while wrapped up in the hands of another. Some will say the new lover simply made them feel more appreciated.
It’s a mistake to see infidelity as a sign that a relationship is broken or in lack of nourishments. Sometimes it is, but often, there’s is nothing wrong with the partner, but something is “wrong” with the cheater.
The truth is that many cheaters continue to sleep with their partners the whole time they’re prowling about. A cheater’s main relationship can look awesomely normal and very happy from the outside. This suggests that we are far more in the dark than we thought when it comes to infidelity. The idea that people cheat because they’re deprived of sex no longer hold water to me.
They aren’t necessarily out there scratching an itch a partner can’t scratch. They’re just scratching as many itch altogether as possible.
The reasons they haven’t given up on their main partner may be because:
- They want to explore but still sought out more sex with their main partner while still enjoying the second hole.
- Some keep up the sex so their partners wouldn’t become suspicious.
Either they’re fucking you still because it’s perfectly good and they still need some outside action, or they’re fucking you even though it’s not so hot anymore but just so you don’t get to know the truth.
This is to tell you that total lack of sex, which is the red flag may be the opposite because you might still be enjoying great sex. The kind so good, and so unusual.
The assumption that your partner is cheating with someone way hotter than you is not always true.
We like to think a cheater has sought out an illicit affair with a super hot person who would beat us hands down in looks. It will shock you to know that to many, it isn’t looks that mattered.
I know men with super hot wife’s, well rounded breasts and big butts but are still running after very “ugly”shapeless women. It was the feelings that the new partners were “more passionate, better listeners and more caring than their significant others that they went after”.
Most cheaters fuck someone at work because they’re right there, around all the time and an easy target. This is just to let you know that the convenience outweighs the thrill of the hunt.
The idea that women cheat for “emotional” reasons and men cheat for physical reasons is not always true.The truth is either men and women can cheat for either reason.
Saying that women cheating for emotional reasons are more dangerous because she’s more likely to fall in love and leave her man. Whereas when men fuck, it’s “supplemental,” like a good daily food.
“Many times, people who cheat are of the opinion that life is short and there are certain experiences … that they are longing for, they are looking not just for another person, but in a way they’re looking for themselves. Some say they are looking for “vitality.”
In other words, your spouse is cheating not to escape you, but to escape themselves. So don’t kill yourself. Their cheating has nothing to do with you.
To hear that an affair wasn’t really about you won’t make cheating less what it is, but perhaps the knowledge would, at least make it far easier to address the root causes of infidelity.
There’ nothing to be envious of in a cheater’s shortcut to vitality. But we should constantly try to figure out how to keep the vitality alive, so that no one has to make a midnight run to toilets to make calls or lie about being at work while fucking in a hotel room.
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