Can My Ex and I Still Be Friends?
I have heard so many people ask this question.
so many people have asked me as well and this is my answer.
I believe some people can successfully transition from being in a long-term relationship to just being friends, but its much harder than it sounds. The simple truth is that if one person still has romantic feelings for the other person, being “just friends” won’t work. At least not initially.
If you really do want to be friends with her, following these steps will give you the best chance:
1) Break up with her. This should not be a “process.” You should tell her in no uncertain terms that you no longer wish to be with her and that you don’t want to be involved with her romantically ever again. Harsh, yes, but that’s the point. You need a clean break that eliminates the possibility of getting back together (even if you think you might get back together in the future). This will allow you and her to move on. Without a clean break, she will hold out hope that you will get back together, and this will lead to resentment on someones part, eliminating the possibility of friendship.
2) Take time apart. This means no contact at all. No calls, no texts, no social media messaging, no in-person meeting . If you find yourself in the same room together, be polite, but try to remove yourself as quickly as possible. This part will take as long as it takes. She needs to get over you in earnest, and the quickest way to do this is to stay out of each others lives.
3) Accept the fact that you might not ever be friends again. If you take step number 2 seriously, there is a chance that either you or her realize that you don’t want the other in your life at all anymore. Having time apart will clarify this better than anything else.
4) If you decide that you want to make an effort to be friends again, let her initiate. Since she is the only one who can decide when she is over you, having any contact prior to that point could confuse things for her. Having the patience to let this process play out is the hardest part.
This is a lengthy process, but in my experience, its the only way to successfully transition. Above all though, if you care about her go through with Steps 1 & 2 anyway. Getting over someone is never easy, but these steps will help her out in the long run. Yes, they may hurt at the time, but she will appreciate it later on.
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